One of the most difficult things that parents, children, family law lawyers, and the court system face is a child custody hearing.
I’ve been through child custody hearings as a child and as a lawyer. Let me tell you, they are never easy. I will admit that I’d rather be the lawyer than the child though.
But, child custody hearings happen everyday and they can’t be ignored. If you are faced with a situation where you or your children are facing an upcoming child custody hearing, I wanted to write a post that may help some people through the process.
My clients often have all kinds of questions. Sometimes, they are looking for easy answers. My response? There aren’t any easy answers. Ok, perhaps there is one: be a good parent, if you are not, it will show and the judge will know it.
Beyond that, below is a bullet list of things that I tell all of my clients to read and think about before a child custody hearing:
- It’s not about you or your spouse, it’s about the child or children. If you don’t believe me, ask the judge;
- Both sides get to tell their side of the story. If you don’t like what the other person has to say, don’t get upset in court. Don’t making faces, don’t slouch, don’t make noises. Wait until it is your turn to present your evidence;
- Don’t try and get your lawyer’s attention all the time or start whispering to him or her. The lawyers are in their element and concentrating on things you don’t know or understand. Let them handle the hearing and presentation of evidence – they do this for a living and you don’t;
- The court is going to be looking at how parents cooperate with each other and how they resolve disputes. Don’t create evidence for the judge to use at trial;
- If domestic abuse is occurring, the court need to know about it right away. Don’t be afraid of the other side. That is what the armed guards and bailiff is for;
- The judge often makes a decision based on who the primary caretaker of the child or children is. The court looks at specific particulars that existed at the point in time in which the family relationship was disrupted – e.g. a separation.
- At the end of the day, the judge is going to make a decision that is in the best interest of the child. End of story.
I could go on, but those are some of the major points I try to make to my clients prior to any hearing – be it child custody or otherwise.
Again, the judge is looking closely at your behavior. Don’t screw it up by being a jerk in the court room and when you give testimony. Other than that, let your lawyer worry about things. That is his or her job and that is what you are paying them for.
Any good Dakota County MN divorce lawyer is going to prepare for a child custody hearing to the hilt. The lawyer is going to know the facts which are important. The attorney is going to have a plan on how evidence is presented. Let the attorney do it.
With those thoughts in mind, I wish anyone luck who is reading this post and is facing a child custody hearing. They are not easy. You will undoubtedly be upset – no matter the result. Keep you chin up and be a good parent.
Hello there, I am glad to see your blog. I am in needing of consulting a lawyer. I recently just gave birth to a 2months old daughter. After I gave birth, my husband was developed manic attack with bipolar disorder. He went out of the house around places, spending all the money we have and on credit cards. He hurts me emotionally and that cause our entire family going in to a stressful situation. It got to one point that I could not take it anymore and I am worry about the baby that it will cause her to have mental problem in her life since she already has the gene to begin with so I took her and left the country. I am Thai citizen, and my entire family is in Thailand and that is why I left to here. Now, I do not want to leave him forever. I do want to help him get himself treated and wants to make sure we have stable jobs so we can actually taking care of our baby. (Before we have the baby we both didn’t have any job, my husband got unemployment claim from state)
Now my plan is not bringing the baby back, because of no telling if he actually gets better. (the fact of this disorder will take at least 6 months to actually get a person to the normal again and I do not want to risk our baby in the stressful situation anymore) I told him that and of course he is mad and he might be getting lawyer. I just want to make sure that what I am doing is right thing and is legal. I consult to at least 2 psychiatrists in Thailand and they all said the same thing that the best thing is to keep the baby away from the stress, at least until he is treated the right way. I don’t really have any legal knowledge but nursing because I am an RN in Thailand. It will make more sense that I can just stay in Thailand and get my career starts and take care of the baby but I do want her to be with her father as well, thats why i want to come back to make sure of everything first. Please help me!! Thank you.