I am a child of divorced parents. It was rough and I still bear some scars of what took place. I know my parents are better off without being married to each other, but I also know my siblings and I weren’t. It was difficult.
Another confession: I am a divorce lawyer. Sounds obvious right? But, I remember working with both of my parent’s lawyers when I was 11-years-old. I remember talking to judges. I remember that it was very hurtful and I didn’t understand a lot about what was going on. Luckily, I also knew that both of my parents loved me very much.
The point of this post isn’t to talk about me. My situation is merely a first-person example of somebody who knows that divorces are very hard on children. Divorcing parents must remember that and do their best not to involve their children. Don’t fight over custody. Don’t fight over child support. Don’t fight. Get a divorce, be amicable, and move on.
It is difficult for me to write this post because I know that people need aggressive divorce lawyers. I get that. The legal system is adversarial – meaning it is set up so that two people (or their attorneys) meet head-to-head and face off. However, there has also been a lot written about a collaborative approach to family law and divorce mediation.
So, take it from a divorce lawyer who is a child of divorced parents: leave the kids out of it and get along. Your kids will be happier and better off as they grow. You will be better off. Yeah, it’s hard, but do it for the kids.
This post was written by Joseph M. Flanders, an Apple Valley MN lawyer.
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