The parent who has typically performed the traditional role of homemaker and caretaker of the children will be most likely to establish primary parent status for purposes of a temporary custody and child support order.
This means that the primary caregiver is most likely to receive temporary custody in a divorce or legal separation proceeding. It does not mean that the custody order will be permanent. A divorce is a long, drawn-out process where and the court doesn’t make a final custody determination until the legal proceeding is finished.
Furthermore, many factors come into play in a custody determination and you should check with a licensed divorce attorney in your area about how the laws in your state may affect you. As I’ve stated in the past, don’t simply rely on truisms like those I have stated above.
However, I think it is worthwhile to generalize and say that, yes, the primary caretaker is – in my experience – most often awarded custody of the minor children. This is because the law and the courts are interested only in the best interest of the children. The courts are not interested in the parents because the law doesn’t tell them to be. The law in nearly every state in America, and likely throughout the world, is based on a best interest of the child standard. With that standard in mind, who do you think is going to receive custody, the parent who was not around as much or the parent whom the child or children recognize as the primary caregiver?
I don’t want to discourage people from asserting their custodial or visitation rights with their children. However, when a divorce or separation happens, people need to be aware that major changes are going to take place. Often, it is nearly impossible for the children to be in the care and control of both parents simultaneously. It just can’t happen when they live in separate homes. Thus, the law has to make a decision about who receives primary custody of the children.
Furthermore, as many divorce attorneys will explain to their clients, the primary custodial parent is also the parent who receives child support. The non-custodial parent is the one who pays child support. Pretty simple.
I get asked by all of my family law clients questions such as: who gets custody? How does the court make its decision? Who pays child support and how much? All are valid questions. However, many of my clients have not paid attention to the fact that the court is not thinking about the parents. No, the court is thinking about the children and what serves their best interest. Therefore, I always advise my clients to get along with the other side and – at the very least – do whatever is best for the children. If the divorces is messy and litigated, the court will often know which parent is not looking out for the best interest of the children. Don’t be that parent.
In sum, talk with a Apple Valley MN divorce attorney about the laws where you live. At the least, be aware that the court will look out for the best interest of the children – not your best interest.
