Any parent going through a Minnesota divorce has likely spent considerable time wondering about the potential impact the split could have on your kids.
Parents commonly fear that the divorce will do lasting harm to their children, leaving emotional scars that they may never recover from. For this reason, some choose to stay together, for years or forever, even if that means settling with an unhappy relationship. These decisions are usually made for the sake of the children. But what if the kids actually aren’t any better off? Would that change your calculation? To find out more about why divorce may not be so bad for children, keep reading.
Bounce back
The first point worth making is that children are incredibly resilient. A recent article in the Scientific American discussed the impact of divorce on kids and found that while divorce can result in short term pain, it seldom leaves a lasting impact.
Studies have shown that in the aftermath of a divorce, some children report higher levels of stress and anxiety and can occasionally act out as a result. However, by the end of the second year after the divorce is over, all these negative effects have faded away, leaving children much the same as they were before the split. Though the divorce will be difficult on everyone, children, much like adults, eventually make peace with the decision and bounce back fast.
Happy homes
Every expert will say that children thrive in happy, healthy homes. Often times, people mistake this for meaning that kids are always better off in two-parent houses.
Instead, psychologists explain that being surrounded by unhappy parents in a stressful house can be far more harmful than simply splitting up. Getting to see both parents happy and on their own can be a huge relief from endless fighting that often brings out the worst in both. By divorcing, parents can have a chance to create two happy homes; far better than one miserable one.
Lower stress
Though divorce can lead to a temporary increase in stress for some children, that is nothing compared to the stress that children absorb when parents are constantly fighting. A collaborative divorce in Minnesota may be the best way to go.
Study after study has shown that children whose parents fought frequently but stayed married had more problems later in life than those whose parents decided to divorce. Walking on eggshells in a tense home environment can be very detrimental to children, especially younger ones who may not be able to communicate their stress and anxiety.
Good example
Another reason why divorce can actually be good for your children is that it sets a positive example.
Sure, having a marriage fail can be hard and may not be what you want for your kids, but the lesson that everyone deserves happiness is an important one that is best taught through action. By choosing to end an unhealthy relationship and move forward on your own, children get to see firsthand that sticking around may not always be best.
An experienced Minnesota family law attorney can help walk you through the difficult process of divorce, including offering advice on confusing financial issues such as alimony and helping negotiate emotional subjects like child custody arrangements. For more information on divorce in Minnesota, along with a variety of other topics, contact Joseph M. Flanders of Flanders Law Firm at 612-424-0398.
Source: “Is Divorce Bad for Children?,” by Hal Arkowitz, published at ScientificAmerican.com.
